Our Italians
by HeroicBonnie
Summary: America and England talk about their Italian boyfriends. And their sex lives. Rated T for Tsundere England and his potty mouth. Pairings, AmeIta and EngMano.


**This is my first ever story on here. Kinda wanted to write something funny but sexual. America x Italy and England x Romano. These ships need more love. Hope you enjoy! xx**

**XxXxX**

"So, who tops?"

England choked on his tea and stared at his former colony in shock. America nonchalantly continued sipping his coffee, a passive look on his face. Bastard, doesn't he know anything about personal space? Apparently not. England stopped choking and whipped his face with a napkin. He glared at the nation across from him. "Why would you ask a bloody question like that?! _That's personal!"_

America just shrugged his shoulders. He thinks he's so smooth. What a twat. "I'm just curious. I mean, you both seem soooo…"

England narrowed his eyes and scowled. "Soooo what?"

"Soooo… _bottom-ish."_

"The hell do you mean bottom-ish?!"

"I mean you both seem like bottoms!"

England felt insulted. Him? A bottom? How absurd. He was a former pirate for god sakes, he was the most dominant nation you'd ever meet. Ok, well, maybe not _the most _dominant. If he was dating someone like Germany or Russia, then maybe he wouldn't be so dominant. But he wasn't dating Germany or Russia, he was dating Romano. And even though the Italian was a hot-headed swearing bastard, he was totally submissive to the Brit.

And what made America the expert on who should top and who should bottom? For all England knows, America could be the bottom in his relationship. England glared at America who still had that goddamn passive look on his face. "What do you mean I seem like a bottom? Who made you the expert on bottoms?"

"No one. You just seem like a bottom."

"Well looks can be deceiving. How do I know that your not a bottom, Hm?"

That was a stupid question. America and England both knew that. In his defense, England tried to gain what little dignity he had left. But it was obvious America wasn't a bottom. He always had this dominant stance to him. He was a superpower, the worlds last, for a reason. And superpowers are _always _dominant. Plus, Italy has walked into the confernece room with a slight limp before, so, yeah.

And America, the suave bastard, just shrugs his shoulders and crosses his arms. There's a fucking smirk on his face and England is fuming. "I think we both know the answer to that question Iggy."

He's so cocky. How does Italy put up with him? The Italian is always rambling about how 'sweet' and 'gentle' and 'caring' his Alfie is. Alfie. Fucking Alfie. God America is smoother than he thought. "Whatever. And I'll have you know I don't bottom you git."

"Yeah I kinda figured that. Out of the two of you, you seemed more likely to top."

"Than why the bloody hell did you even ask?!"

"I was still curious! Maybe you would've surprised me!"

Surprise him. Wow. England knew America just wanted to know about his sex life. America was a blunt idiot, but can be coy when he wants to. It's like he's trying to play mind chess with England. Expect of trying to steal the king, he's trying to steal information. But why? Why would America even want to know about what he and Romano do behind closed doors? He himself most certainly _does not _want to know what him and Italy do behind closed doors.

He's willing to play this game. He's good at chess and even better at mind play. "Why do you even want to know who bottoms and who tops?"

If America shrugs his shoulders one more time, England's going to punch him in the face. "Romano talks about you to Italy and Italy tells me."

Dammit this was supposed to be chess! America just flipped the board and the game is a tie. Blunt idiot. Wait, Romano does what now? "Romano talks about me?"

"In a good way! A very good way apparently. Him and Italy are brothers, they talk about everything. Italy just happens to be a blabber mouth to, he can never keep a secret."

England ignored the dreamy look on America's face. He was so in love it's sickening.

So, Romano talks about him. To Italy. Surprisingly, he wasn't mad. I mean, he's basically doing the same thing right now. Nations sex lives have never been a private issue. What does Romano say about him? America said it was good things, but how good? Like 'good' good or 'brains being awesomely fucked out' good. He needed an ego boost. "What does he say about me?"

England said he would punch America in the face the next time he shrugged his shoulders. His curiosity was stronger. "Italy told me that Romano said you were 'a passionate but dominant lover who is gentle and manly at the same time.' Among other things but that's all I remember."

Passionate but dominant. Ok, that defiantly boosted his ego. England leaned back in his chair, a smug expression on his face. He felt pretty proud right now, not to brag or anything. Romano was Italian and Italians were known to be the best lovers (which is indeed correct). If England can satisfy him enough that Romano tells his brother those things, well England's on fucking cloud 9 right now.

"So, does Italy ever talk about me?"

Probably. Most likely he does, but Romano doesn't go around talking about his brother's sex life with his boyfriend. All he's ever told England was that, apparently, America has a huge dick. Which, ok, TMI. England's been to Florida (the actual state, not his dick), so that's enough for him. "Not really. All Romano has told me was that Florida is pretty impressive."

"That's all I need to hear."

This time, England leans over the table and punches America square in the face.

(And maybe after their little chat England goes home to his smoking hot Italian boyfriend and passionately but dominantly fucks his brains out.)

(And maybe America goes home with a bleeding nose which causes Italy to fuss over him and treat his injury.)

(And maybe America takes Italy to Florida as a reward for being such a good nurse.)

(And maybe, just maybe, Hungary films both the couples and fangirls about it.)

(But that's a story for another time.)

**XxXxX**

**I'll probably upload more of my AmeIta stories soon since I've been obsessed with the pairing lately. Like, damn, I need to chill. But I'm not. My chill has been gone for a long time now. xx**


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